1 Jan

Smiles

That would be the main thing I am thankful for as the year ends. If I say that “It has been tough…” or “It has been a rough ride…” then that would be an understatement. It has been extremely difficult without my husband and I would never forget those people who have helped and are still helping me to go through this. As an only child, I have always found comfort in being alone or only being with people whom I trust and after what happened, I realized that this time, being alone is actually fatal to my existence.

Something as simple as being asked out to hang out, chat over a cup of coffee, meeting new people, meeting old friends, etc., was something I never paid attention to before. I had my husband and my mom. They were all I needed. Now, whenever I do those things, it makes me see the world outside the life I have lived in which has already ended. It reminds me that even if the longest chapter of my story is over, the world would, should and could still go on.

Most people around me has been supportive of me. Some would bring the incident up, some would take my mind off it. Both of which are completely fine by me. The former usually brings me useful advise and the latter fills me up with fun. Either-way, they both do me good.

Not everyone has been helpful though. There were times that I have received remarks that were completely unnecessary and just makes me go back into my empty little world and cry. But then again, I have trained myself since I was young to block off toxic people in my life regardless if I am related to them by blood or not so after the tears, I am fine.

So for everyone who made the past year bearable for me…

 

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